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What rhymes with ''Orange''? Brother Dave's Doggerel For The Day

[ TO BYPASS BD's INSUFFERABLE RAMBLINGS, CLICK HERE TO PROCEED DIRECTLY TO TODAY'S DOGGEREL ]

Doggerel is a form of verse that may be crudely constructed with regard to meter and rhyme and the other elements of classical poetry. Doggerel is often written for humorous effect. Doggerel is generally considered to be trivial, having little or no literary value, and wholly unworthy of being referred to as "poetry." Doggerel is what it is.

When a friend cajoled me into establishing a Twitter account, I had not previously visited Twitter and had no clue as to what I'd do with my own Twitter page. But, for whatever reason, I soon decided that I might post original doggerel there.

At first, I confined my rhymes to a single post, meaning the doggerel was 140-or-less alphanumeric characters in length. And because Twitter did not allow even the most basic of text formatting options back then — such as line breaks, for example — I used forward-slashes to separate the lines of a couplet or quatrain of verse. Following is an early example:

     There are still Indians in Indiana / And you may find one if you try /
     If not a native Miami or Shawnee / Then one from New Delhi or Mumbai

However, when the constraints of 140-or-less alphanumeric characters became too limiting, I devised the following form for posting longer doggerel on Twitter. Note: Contrary to the normal approach to reading a sequence of paragraph-like blocks of text in English from top down, Twitter feeds are read from bottom up. So, start reading the post that begins with "Above are four (Count 'em, 4!) tweets..." and work your way back up to the top block in the column.

Brother Dave's Doggerel For The Day, 07/30/12 - As Posted On Twitter: ''What rhymes with 'Orange'?'' he wondered. ''It has to be a perfect rhyme.'' / If only he'd settled for a slant rhyme, he could've saved himself his lifetime. / He quested on, tho' everyone knows there's no prefect rhyme for ''Orange.'' / Ultimately, he failed. And now he's deader than a doornail in a door hinge.

Anyway, posted below should be the most current effort in the Brother Dave's Doggerel For The Day series. While the series title may imply that a new verse will be written and posted each day, such is not likely to be the case. Recently, the frequency has been two-to-four rhymes per week. When a new bit of doggerel is posted, the verse it replaces will be allocated to the archives, where it will remain available for viewing in perpetuity. And, oh yeah, I reserve the right to edit, reformat, or make any other changes to the original material, as the muse moves me and, hopefully, to better serve this webpage presentation. So there!

So here:

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Brother Dave's Doggerel For The Day, 02/16/18 - #1


This buxom Japanese anime beauty implies I've breast-fetishist perversion.
But it's the difference between our native languages which makes it appear
That I'm always checking out her boobs. If her disc were a dubbed version,
There'd be no bust-level subtitle to say, "Hey, pervert, my eyes are up here!"

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Brother Dave's Doggerel For The Day, 02/16/18 - #2


I used to hear the name of Effingham lots more
often when I lived closer to the state line.
After so many years away, I heard the name again
the other day and it stuck in my mind.
Rather than research the origin of this place name,
I made one up. It couldn't be gaucher:
The town's founder, Sid Goldstein, said, "Get that
effing ham off the table! We're kosher!"

And, what the fuck, the effing name stuck!


NOTE: Okay, as stated in today's doggerel, I didn't do any research before making up my own version of events. Thereafter, however, I Googled the place name. The Wikipedia page for Effingham, Illinois refers to a possible origin of the town's name in the "History" section of the article. The claim seems tenuous, though, with no supporting evidence. And it's dull, if true. Perhaps I should edit that item to favor my own version of how the town's name came to be, then see if my origin story is discovered and purged or if, instead, it is allowed to stand and eventually become canon. Bwahaha!


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