''Please, Dave .. Please don't let me be locked out from you!'' Often a wife fails to realize that doubts due to one intimate neglect shut her out from happy married love. A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself. Is she truly trying to keep her husband and herself eager, happy married lovers? One most effective way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure is by practicing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches with a scientifically correct preparation like ''Lysol.''



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(Following is the post-post-postscript excerpted from my "Too Many (Generic) Daves?" page)

Through a bit of Web-surfing serendipity, I discovered an unintentionally-humorous vintage magazine ad in which a spurned housewife is pleading with her cloistered (Hermit?) husband named (What else?) Dave. While tugging melodramatically at the doorknob of what one assumes to be an unyielding bedroom or bathroom door, the distraught woman is quoted as begging her withdrawn mate, "Please, Dave .. Please don't let me be locked out from you!" The ad is a cautionary tale of how true love can be lost, or at least put in serious jeopardy, due to (What else?) less-than-Spring-fresh female naughty parts. Now, if you're a woman who has, yourself, lost your life's one true love due to the heartbreak of skanky cooter, well, I can surely understand if you don't find the ad to be the least bit amusing. But, hey, if — and statistically, of course, this is much more likely the case — you're just another guy named Dave, I hope you find the ad to be as entertaining and educational as I found it to be. "Educational, too?" you ask? Why, yes! I mean, if you're like me, Dave, you probably only thought of Lysol® as being something for disinfecting toilets, floors, countertops, and such. But, to learn that Lysol® also makes for a great douche, too... Well, that's Edutainment! Check it out. (Personally, I'd think Listerine® would be a better make-shift douche than Lysol®. Guess that shows how little I know about feminine hygiene and suitable substitutes for regular feminine hygiene products.) (I mean, if, say, his friend Penny Parker suddenly found herself in dire need of one, what would MacGyver use to create an ingenious douche substitute? ...Hey, I wonder about these things. Okay?) —Bro. Dave "Don't Call Me Listerine!" Lister



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